And Meanwhile in Beijing....

[A summary of
the world news...
on page 21...
a few days ago]

And now the news
from ol' Baghdad...
which is of course
is all bad.

Each day just change the date
and the number killed
and the tag for those now gone
from Sunni to Shite
To Sunni and back...

Militias... both sides
Say, "Hey guys,
what can we do.
We have our crazies,
but so do you...
Kids... what are
you gonna do?"

"It's not our fault,
Can't rein them in,
the guys on the fringe
are running wild..."
Says the fearless leader of Iraq.

So the tango of death goes on
The suicide guys
with nothing better
to do with their lives
go right on being a real blast.
Just don't stand too close
when they stroll by
or you just might die real fast...

Meanwhile, somewhere else
across the world
The real problem of the day...
the story of the moment
jumps out to front page right...
Sad Iraq
must stand back
and let the real crisis of the day
rear its ugly head.

China wrings it hands
Over their kids raging glands
The kids are kissing
and touching and even more.
Oh, no! Oh my!
That's such a big surprise.

So that's the story. It really is.
We gotta focus on
the Chinese Girls and Boys.
Nothing like the news
to titillate...
ah, I mean to stimulate...
ah, I mean to turn us on... yes
to turn us on to what
is really critical in the pursuit
of world peace,
like pondering
how to keep the kids
from screwing
in Beijing and points beyond.

Latest, Greatest Hit from Baghdad

As a tourist destination
Baghdad is a bomb
But at least the radio
Can be a real balm.

You see
There is a new song
That everyone can like
A brand new song that
Sunnis and Shiites
And Kurds all can like.

So find your favorite spot
On the radio dial,
And you can tap your foot
and sing along while
Baghdad's favorite group
sings:

" You say potato
and I'll say potaato.
You say tomato
and I'll say tomaato.
Potato, Potaato,
Tomato, Tomaato,
Let's call the whole thing off!"